Unlovable
by BlandImagination
Summary: Breezepaw is found in the Thunderclan camp beaten and scathed. Jaypaw works to heal him, but confronts the strangely-acting Windclan apprentice why he was attacked. Secrets and blunders unfold, and more is revealed about the unloved apprentice from Windclan to Jaypaw. Jay x Breeze, fluff, slash, etc. Enjoy!


There was hissing near the entrance of the ThunderClan camp as Jaypaw had just returned with his mouth stuffed with herbs and other medicinal plants. As a crowd of cats began to form around the front of the camp, Jaypaw silently hissed to himself, wondering could possibly be so intriguing at the place he needed to get through to get to the medicine den.

He decided he'd just see - or rather, hear - what all the commotion was about after he sorted out the plants he had just gathered for Leafpool. Before he could even get through half of his organization, he heard a fairly large number of paws scuffle into the medicine cat den and a voice say "gently leave him here for now."

Before Jaypaw could ask what was going on, he felt Firestar approach him and tap his shoulder with his tail. "Jaypaw, I need to speak with you, since Leafpool is in Riverclan helping their case with whitecough," he spoke with some urgency in his voice as he continued, "the reason so many cats were blocking the entrance to camp a few moments ago is because we found Breezepaw lying there, pretty badly injured."

Jaypaw felt an odd lurch in his stomach at the mention of the Windclan apprentice being hurt. What could have happened to the proud (and obnoxiously pompous) Breezepaw? But more importantly, Jaypaw wondered why he cared so much about a cat he loathed sharing a nest with in the mountains. _What a self-righteous flea-bag..._the blind apprentice thought for a split second, then immediately regretted it because, based on how much blood he could smell coming from where Breezepaw was set, the poor tom was practically at the mercy of Starclan's paws.

After pretending to be upset that Breezepaw was in his den, Jaypaw finally spoke. "Do we know what happened to him?"

Firestar shook his head. "All we could get out of him before he passed out was that some of his clanmates attacked him and drove him out, and that he ran as hard as he could until he crossed our border."

"But..." Jaypaw was really confused now. He knew that Windclan resented Breezepaw's existence as nothing more than a scapegoat for Crowfeather's affair with Thunderclan's medicine cat, but why his clanmate would attack him for reasons unknown was appalling. "Why would Windclan do this to one of their own apprentices?" he asked. "_Especially _Breezepaw. He may be snooty and arrogant, but everyone can see that he'd give blood for his clan without question."

The flame-colored leader shook his head in disbelief again. "I have no clue, Jaypaw. But this is definitely something that I'll talk to Onestar privately about at the next Gathering." As Firestar began to leave the medicine den, he turned to the blind apprentice briefly and said, "But until that time comes, please...do anything you can to save him."

Jaypaw nodded as he began to swiftly treat the beaten Windclan apprentice. Although the smell of blood emanating from Breezepaw was powerful, further inspection of his wounds had Jaypaw find that he wasn't bleeding that much, and that there was a fair amount of blood and fur in his claws that wasn't his own.

The blind apprentice snickered to himself. Of course Breezepaw wouldn't go down without a fight, and from the looks of it, he did quite a number on his attackers, but he was still badly injured. Without killing anymore time that might cost the Windclan apprentice his life, Jaypaw continued his treatment of Breezepaw's wounds and other injuries.

Breezepaw slowly blinked his eyes open and found himself not in the familiar apprentices' den with his comrades, but in what he could assume was the medicine den of some other clan. He couldn't remember how he had ended up in a place unknown, but he certainly could remember why he was there as soon as he tried to stand on his paws.

His body ached from head to claw, he had bruises in places he didn't even know could bruise, and his pelt was covered in cuts and scratches. He drew in a sharp breath, trying to fight the pain, but in the end just collapsed onto his sore body, making it shriek in protest. Breezepaw looked around at the medicine den trying to figure out which clan he was in; the overpowering scent of herbs made it impossible to decipher any one clan's scent.

"Oh good, you're awake."

Breezepaw craned his head around the den to see who was addressing him, to find Jaypaw come out from behind a crevice in one of the walls with a mouthful of plants.

_Oh no, _Breezepaw began to think in panic, _please don't leave me alone with Jaypaw...Starclan, please..._

"Instead of flipping out that I'm the only here to take care of you, why don't you start by, I dunno, thanking me for fixing you up?" Jaypaw snorted.

Breezepaw had no idea how the blind medicine cat apprentice knew what he was thinking, but he did his best to put up a front. "Why would I thank you?" he spat. "And how do you know what I'm thinking anyways?" Although his words were harsh, the tone in Breezepaw's voice gave away that he wasn't actually being his usual sour self.

Jaypaw simply brushed off the other apprentice's poor attempts at apathy. "Because I stopped you from bleeding out to your death and I've been keeping your wounds from becoming infected for the past two days. Nothing big though," Jaypaw responded sarcastically. "And about your other question, I can just feel the angst coming off of your body."

Breezepaw slowly sat up, careful to not make anything hurt too much. _I was out for that long?_ The Windclan apprentice couldn't fathom why someone who hated him saved his life and took care of him for two days straight. He sighed."I'm sorry for being so rude. Thank you for saving my life...but...since I can tell you hate me, why go through the trouble of making sure I didn't die?"

Jaypaw felt himself get warmer at the question, although he didn't want to accept why he felt this way. He wasn't stupid; he _knew_ why he felt more flushed at the moment, he just didn't want to confront his own feelings. "Wow, is this the first time you've apologized for anything? And it's...it's because it's my duty as a medicine cat to save lives. Nothing more, nothing less." Breezepaw seemed to buy his answer, although Jaypaw mentally smacked himself for his voice faltering as he said that last part.

"Oh." Breezepaw said softly, a little defeated. And here he thought that the Thunderclan medicine cat apprentice, the one cat who made his heart flutter, who made him feel like there was a reason to live in this cruel life he's had, saved his life because he cared about him. Breezepaw felt so stupid for allowing himself to be so naive about something like this. They were both toms, from different clans, _and_ he was a medicine cat. He couldn't bring himself to say anymore to the blind cat standing before him.

Jaypaw picked up some herbs and walked over to where Breezepaw's makeshift nest was, dropping them at his feet. "So, if you don't mind my asking, what happened at Windclan? Why did your clanmates attack you?" The blind apprentice inquired as he stepped closer to Breezepaw's face.

The dark colored apprentice felt his heart stop and his stomach lurch. Jaypaw was standing inches away from his own face, yet the question he had just been asked made him want to vomit on the spot. Did Breezepaw really want to tell the truth?

He did anyways. "I, uh...I told Heatherpaw a secret that I had and told her not to tell anyone...but naturally she's a huge gossip and she went straight to her father, who told my dad, and the whole thing blew up around camp. They wanted to punish me for...for being disgusting and disgraceful, then they drove me out."

Without warning, the blind apprentice got even closer to Breezepaw and began to lick his cheek rapidly, making Breezepaw feel as if his heart would pop out of his chest. "Wha..what are you doing?" The black-haired cat stuttered.

Jaypaw stopped what he was doing and gazed straight into the other apprentice's amber eyes with his hauntingly pale blue ones. "How do you not feel that you have a deep gash under your eye? I'm cleaning it out so I can put in a poultice to keep any sort of infection from spreading."

Sure enough, Breezepaw winced when he actually focused on the throbbing pain on his right cheek. He knew it was too good to be true, having Jaypaw to continue to lick him. "Anyways," Jaypaw said as he began to chew up a mixture of some leaves and a root, "what secret was so bad that your own clan drove you out? Did you kill a kit or something?"

Breezepaw shook his head. "No...nothing like that. I...I told her that I like someone, and when she asked me who it was, I told her. I don't think she took it too well.."

Jaypaw spat out the plant mixture onto his paw and began to apply it onto Breezepaw's face. "That's not so bad. Who is it, if you don't mind my asking?" He asked this question as nonchalantly as he could, silently hoping he'd say the name of some she-cat; if he did, then he could let go of the lurking feeling of affection toward the other apprentice.

Breezepaw just asked a question in response. "Jaypaw...what does the medicine cat code say about...about loving another tom?"

_Foxdung. _"Uh," Jaypaw wasn't sure how to respond, "I don't think it says anything about that, and neither does the warrior code, I'm pretty sure. It's a really taboo topic and I know it's not very well taken by other cats."

"But...do you think it's possible?" Breezepaw began to press against Jaypaw's side after he had finished applying the poultice on Breezepaw's cheek.

Jaypaw didn't resist, but he could see where this was going; he wasn't blind to emotions. "Yeah...it's possible, but I don't think it's a good idea. Did you tell Heatherpaw that you like a tom?" _That's not me? _Jaypaw hoped. If Breezepaw felt for him what he felt for Breezepaw, he knew he wouldn't be able to resist falling in love.

"I...I told her that I've fallen for you." The black-haired apprentice whispered softly.

Silence.

Jaypaw had no idea how to react. He wanted to pretend like this whole thing was a joke, that this was just another one of Breezepaw's cruel pranks. But he knew this was serious. And he knew he wanted to purr like a kit in his mother's curve. But he didn't know how to react.

Breezepaw, on the other hand, took the deafening silence as rejection. He sighed and moved away from the blind cat and sat down with his body facing away from the gray tom.

"I...I'm sorry for saying that." Breezepaw hung his head down so he was just staring at his twiddling paws. "I know...I know that everyone sees me as insignificant...that you see me as insignificant, as nothing more than a nuisance."

"Breezepaw-" Jaypaw began, but the Windclan apprentice continued.

"I know I can't be much to you...but the longer my feelings for you go on, the more hopeless it gets for me. It doesn't matter anyway, no one would love me anyways, let alone cared about me to begin with. I mean, regardless of you not being able to see, you'd never turn to look my way, and I knew that the day would never come where you'd be interested, but..."

Jaypaw tried to stop the other tom from continuing, but he couldn't find the right words. "Breezepaw, I-"

"At least now I have an excuse to stop you right now," Breezepaw let out an empty laugh. "To let you know how I feel. I mean, even though no matter how much I love you, you'll never be interested. I get it. We're both toms, from different clans, and you're going to be a medicine cat on top of all of that!" Breezepaw sighed. "But hey," he chuckled to himself, "I can still dream and hope for the day that you return my feelings. I know this is bothersome, but can I ask you to listen well to what I have to say?" Breezepaw turned to face the blind tom, who was just standing there in shock.

"I...uh...sure." Was all Jaypaw could get out of his mouth. There was so much he wanted to say, but there was no way he could say it.

"I don't know how much longer it will take to remove you from my heart, but...even if you think of me as nothing, as long as I'm breathing - if that will be any longer - I want to let you know that I'll love you...forever." The last part was spoken from the Windclan apprentice only a little more audible than a whisper.

At this point, Jaypaw had heard enough. There was no way he could resist the lithe young tom in front of him anymore. He approached the older tom and sat in front of him, his blue eyes staring into Breezepaw's amber ones. "Breezepaw...no one has ever really told me anything like this before. I've always felt underappreciated and invisible because everyone treats me like a helpless kit simply because I'm blind. I've never felt...loved. Until now."

Jaypaw moved even closer to Breezepaw and buried his face in the larger tom's chest fur. "And as long as I'm still breathing...I'll love you forever. I have since we were in the mountains together. I felt something for you I've never felt for any other cat. How you saved me in that battle, and how we had to share a nest for warmth. I...I can't imagine not being able to see you anymore."

They both looked at each other before Breezepaw finally decided to press his muzzle against Jaypaw's. The blind apprentice gingerly returned the gesture and pushed back gently against the dark-haired apprentice's muzzle.

For the first time in Jaypaw's life, he experienced how to love and care for another cat properly that didn't involve any special herb, seed, or root.

And for the first time in Breezepaw's life, he felt like his life that he's lived as being unlovable had never been more insignificant as he and Jaypaw continued to share each other's love for one another.


End file.
